The outdated mode of reality is that something outside of yourself has to happen in order to change your state. Such as – you have to change the job to be happy, you have to get through the move before you can relax, you have to make up with your partner before you can feel love again, you have to go on vacation before you can let go, you have to make the sale before you can feel rich.
That's old school. That's cause and effect, predictable, Newtonian physics. The new school mode of reality is that you cause an effect by feeling the feelings first, in order to draw in the experience. And then that experience comes to you in a surprising, unpredictable, delightful way… because you changed your energy – the experience came to you. In other words, you have to load up the feelings you want to feel in the future now, in the present moment, taking time to overcome the restlessness of your body, the distractions in your environment, and the belief that you don't have enough time to practice. It's a training, it's a practice to love yourself enough to make a 10 minute life-investment to close your eyes, carve out time, and try something new. Don't worry you can get up to check your email, send a text, post on instagram, re-check your to-do list, get something to eat afterwards, but for now, sit and stay and be willing to have a go.
So try this: Take time every day for 1 week, before you even get out of bed, while your brain chemistry is changing, to place your hand over your heart and feel gratitude for the day as if it has already happened. And I don’t mean thinking of a scenario, playing out the details like “if everything goes as planned, then I’ll be grateful” - Remember that we can cause an effect if we combine an intention of being grateful with actually feeling it first. This is where it’s helpful to close our eyes, bring our attention to our heart space, genuinely conjure up a feeling of care and appreciation for someone you know or something that’s happened in your life that you’re appreciative of and feel that feeling in your heart. The longer we can linger in this state, quieting our minds and changing the state of our bodies, getting them to link up and work together, the more we draw experiences into our lives to be grateful for.
It's scientifically proven that the brain cannot tell the difference between an outer experience and an inner experience. The body responds to the emotions of a felt experience, whether you're actually in Aruba, lying on a beach feeling the sun on your face, sensing the salty air, listening to the waves or …. Whether you're just imagining it fully, with eyes closed, listening to a guided meditation that takes you there. The same restorative, regenerative chemicals will be released in your body to relax you either way. Notice how when you just close your eyes and imagine a scene that you’d like to place yourself in, like the beach, in a few minutes you begin to lose sense of your body, your forget what time it is, and your outer environment disappears. And then when you open your eyes, you feel better.. lighter.. and you walk through your day differently. If you want to change something in your life, you need to change your energy. Don’t wait for something outside of you to change before you feel a desired emotion… feel it now by going within.
Like any skill, it gets easier with practice. Chances are, if you’re not used to this kind of thing, within 1 minute of closing your eyes, your body is going to freak out and tell you “you’re not good at this, start tomorrow, this doesn’t feel right” and you’re going to give up, and maybe a thought like "this is stupid or I'm not good at anything" passes by. There’s a whole other explanation for that that I’ll save for another blog, but for now, just remember that just because you have a thought, doesn't mean it's true.
I used to be so restless that, for years, I could only get there with someone else in a class or in a one on one in-person session. About luckily, about a half hour in of rebelling against myself, I would surrender. Now I’ve been listening with my earbuds each morning and evening and am so steeped in the science of this stuff that I can get there within a couple of minutes on my own. The surprises just keep getting better, which inspires me to wake up and want to do it all over again.
I'm watching my 4 year old learn to ice skate. His third go was last night during the full moon and he did so much better than even yesterday morning. It's like a wrestling match trying to get him to stand up and get all his parts in sync (and that's what it'll be like between your mind and body at first) but I see progress and he feels it. And we're going to go again this morning and keep practicing.
You can book a coaching session with me and I'll make you a personal guided meditation to suit you or you can find lots on platforms like Spotify, You Tube and the like.