In the full year that I've been writing regular, weekly-ish blogs, this is the longest I've gone without writing. Oh, I've been writing, to be sure, but to my journal. Pages and pages and pages. I've written 2 posts for here, but couldn't quite dial them in to publish. So, I've waited and I've felt into being ok with that.
I appreciate the motivation of a deadline. Truly, I do. And I also appreciate the opportunity to question, adapt, adjust and give space for change.
So, being that it's been a month since I've written, I thought I'd write a post about what I've learned. I'm sort of re-structuring this whole blog thing. Blogs used to be more of a personal diary - on travel, food, experiences, musings - but now they've morphed into 5 ways to ____, 10 things you need to know about _______, the 3 fastest ways to _______. Many are full of ads and pop ups and ways to monetize while some are more like scientific papers. All good, but how do I want to share knowledge, information and insights?
I even recently took a pretty spendy course thinking "I just need to follow the laid out proven plan for blogging" and that's pretty much when I stopped writing. What a paradox. Trying to doing something someone else's proven way didn't work for me. Has it ever worked for me?
The formula that has always worked for me has been to take the best and leave the rest. Like a recipe - take a little bit of this and a little bit of that and create from there. Whenever I cook something new, I follow it pretty spot on for the first time and then I tweak, adjust, change, omit and add until voila! I create something that suits my palate.
From that course, I decided I quite like the sharing aspect, not to monetize, just to use as a platform for sharing what I've learned and what I'm currently learning. I also decided I don't want to do the tech stuff, I don't want it bad enough to learn how to capitalize and optimize and leverage. Sometimes you push through, sometimes you just don't want it bad enough or you want peace more than you want pressure.
I just like to share. There is so much value in storytelling and sharing perspectives, not from an authority standpoint like "I know how to do this", but rather from a "if this helped me, this might help someone else, too" standpoint. And these are usually things we already know, but maybe forgot or could use reminding of.
I see myself as a valuable leader - in my family, community, the world and the universe(!) and I also recognize that we are ALL leaders, helping one another remember our true nature. My husband is leading, my 5 year old is leading, my 7 year old is definitely leading (ha!) and so are you, dear reader, whether you know it, believe it or not.
One thing I learned over these last 30 days is if it took me a chunk of change and some time to go down one rabbit hole to realize that I don't even want to do something this way, well, so what? That's valuable, useful information.
Lessons can be surprising in a hard-knock kind of way but they're lessons for our growth none-the-less. Sometimes we gotta go for the thing we think we want, or should want, to realize it's not what we want at all and it's still totally worth it. Without the experience, how would we know? Being kind and gentle with ourselves afterwards, when it appears as a "failure" is the grace we could all use a bit more of for ourselves and one another.
Which leads me to other things I've learned this month:
To thine own self be true. You can follow proven plans to get you from A to B and that works really well for a lot of people. And if it works for them, wonderful, but does it work for you? Like, truly. You have to discern if it's fear that's keeping you from moving forward in this way or your heart keeping you from moving forward in this way. You're the only one who knows that answer. Luckily, there's no right or wrong, there's just alignment and self-love for staying true to yourself. And timing.
Contraction is a natural part of expansion. Just like the seasons. So as you expand into new aspects of your Being, allow for the phase of contraction and integration. It's part of the cosmic design. Universal Intelligence has never let me down.
Change consists of 3 stages -
1. Excitement/Anticipation/Anxiety - which to your body all feels the same as it releases adrenaline to get ready for action. Think caterpillar following its instinct into the unknown.
2. Confusion - your brain is reorganizing, there's a death of some kind, breakdown, re-orientation, organized chaos. Think cocoon.
3. Integration - the mist over the mountains clears and now you can see clearly, you can take the wisdom from it into your heart and everything begins to make sense. You see how it had to happen that way with great understanding. Think butterfly.
Moving from house to house pretty much sucks at first, especially if you didn't consciously choose to do so. That being said, it's also incredibly cathartic, cleansing, renewing and stimulating in a good way. Once the dust settles, it's the best thing that could've happened. Recognizing that is a choice.
People come and go in and out of your life and that's ok. You can still connect with the gifts shared at any time, say thank you for the best and let go of the rest. Relationships are always worth it.
Sometimes we have to let go and sometimes we have to hold on.
Where you place your attention is where you place your energy. Put your attention on your right foot and there you are. Put your attention on the small of your back and there you are. Put your attention on yesterday and there you are. Put your attention on your dream vacation in Mexico and there you are. Put your attention on your heart and there you are. So where are you most of the time? Where are you placing your attention? Where is your energy coming from and going to?
Gratitude and meditation both increase the overall function of the immune system's ability to perform by up to 50%. This means to place your attention on your heart and think of someone or something you appreciate or to simply disconnect from your external environment by going within for awhile, placing your attention on the space within you and all around you, so as to allow your brain wave patterns to change to a restorative state, makes you healthier which makes you happier. It may just be the best medicine available. Both have become my highest priority.
Melatonin is a hormone produced by the pineal gland, located in the third ventricle of the brain, and, among many other amazing functions, is responsible for processing carbohydrates. It is produced in response to the inhibition of light or darkness. Carbohydrates are crucial for energy but they will be stored as fat if your sleep cycle is wonky from too much screen time, porch lights, light of all kinds, not honoring natural day time/night time rhythms. This is also another reason why meditation has been shown to help people lose weight - put on a blind fold and refocus your attention on blackness to allow your brain waves to change, the nervous system to regulate and the pineal gland to release melatonin to process those carbs for proper use of cell production and cell protection instead of storage for some later survival event. If you suffer from insomnia, instead of reaching for your phone, I recommend purchasing a blindfold so you can still block out light for your brain, your hormones and your nervous system. Help your body help you.
Learning is fun all on its own. It's fun to learn new things and really, really good for our brains and our overall health. Anyone, everyone can learn.
Dr Joe Dispenza says, "the privilege of being human is that we can make thought more real than anything else." Mike Dooley says, "Thoughts become things, choose the good ones." This comes back to where you place your attention is where you place your energy. You're the gatekeeper.
If we're not living into our future selves in the present moment then we're bringing our past selves into the present moment. Which one serves you better?
Everything is worse when we're stressed or tired. Managing our energy levels is our responsibility, our ability to respond to life. Blaming, shaming and complaining deflects and delays this birthright that you are the creator of your life. You can't not, not create.
It's okay to take breaks as long as you start again, especially if your deepest truth, your soul, is whispering to you to keep going. There is a power in silence, in space, in grace, in waiting. Tune in to it.
So there you have it. A few things I've learned. Also, starting again after not practicing for awhile can be a bit uncomfortable but that's ok. Learning how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable is a skill that can be learned as well. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. Allowing for grace in all of it is the biggest thing I've learned so far this year.
As always, thank you for reading and for your continued support. I love sharing with you.