When I studied with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, I learned over 100 different dietary theories. That was 13 years ago. There are probably more by now. Either way, the one that stood out to me the most was the 90/10. It resonated then and it still does.
It seems no matter what it pertains to, whether it's food, work, exercise, relationships, goals, commitments, endeavors of whatever kind - I do things about 90/10... sometimes 80/20 if I'm being honest.
But hey, majority wins. James Clear says in his book Atomic Habits, "We are continually undergoing micro-evolutions of the self." To me, this means that even when I make a habit a new normal, a new standard baseline, the next thing/goal/habit I want to do I will also most likely do 90/10 or 80/20.
I have a bad habit of perfectionism - not from a loving way, but from a not good enough way - which is probably why the 90/10 diet speaks to me the most. Because then I don't have to do it perfectly. There's a margin for being human, for hitting the mark most - but not all - of the time. And that helps me to relax into it.
In fact, exercising that 10% helps me to do the 90% better. Because instead of judging myself and being hard on myself, I can shrug and say "I'm gonna chalk that up to the 10%." and then try again. It's actually built into the plan! Feels more loving that way. Because who I want to be is someone who loves themself. Sometimes loving myself means allowing for the imperfection of the 10% and sometimes loving myself means not settling for less than the best in the 90% and that equals loving myself 100%.
James Clear says that it's a simple 2 step process
Decide who you want to be.
Prove it to yourself with small wins.
In the last couple of weeks I have: missed an appointment, had to cancel a client last minute, sat out in the sun too long, yelled at my kids, second guessed myself, eaten too much bread, skipped my morning routine, skipped my evening routine, eaten way too many chocolate chips, said no when I wanted to say yes, said yes when I wanted to say no.
In the last couple of weeks I have also: been a good person, showed up on time, done my best, eaten whole foods, prepared my food with love, taken care of my self and my family, gone hiking and camping, played with my kids, listened, said thank you.
And the person I want to be is someone who does their best, who doesn't beat themself, who loves and respects themself and others, who eats well and stays healthy, who says thank you. That's who I want to be and that's what I've been doing... most of the time.
Who do you want to be?
Whatever your answer - it's the right answer. As long as it's right for you. And you'll know it's right for you when you feel that resonance, the perfect amount of motivation and relaxation - stretching yourself while still allowing for a sliver of a safety net.
Decide who you want to be.
Prove it to yourself with small wins by choosing to act like that person in whatever ratio capacity works best for you.